Keir Starmer returned to the scene of last night's purge for PMQs (Image: Getty)
Keir Starmer’s entry into the House of Commons was greeted with an ear-splitting cheer from his most loyal MP comrades today, as they seemed more than usually keen to demonstrate their unwavering loyalty following last night’s brutal purge of the traitors.
Sir Keir sat on the Government benches for his first PMQs, transformed from a meek Leader of the Opposition to Stalin overnight.
The great terror witnessed in the Commons last night had resulted in the Prime Minister’s majority felled from 174 to 160, a sacrifice this steely Generalissimus was willing to make for the greater good.
He may have closed down the Bibby Stockholm, but has wasted no time sending his enemies to Siberia.
Far from the energetic, partisan, Punch-and-Judy clash we in the press gallery were hoping for, instead we got a bizarre saccharine affair in which both Rishi Sunak and Sir Ed Davey bowed and scraped in a desire to press ‘cross-party collaboration’. Or were they merely terrified of Britain’s new take-no-prisoners commissar?
READ MORE: SNP chief erupts at Labour before Speaker scolds him for breaking rules
Labour whips stood at the entrance to the Chamber throughout the first weekly Wednesday clash like bodyguards. The great defector Christian Wakeford cast a piercing eye over his troops to ensure no one stopped cheering first.
Not all rebellion had been crushed, however. A very brave Nadhia Whittome (Nottingham East) stood to ask the first Labour question on the not-at-all contentious topic of trans children’s access to hormone-altering drugs.
Her name has now also gone on ze list.
Then came Rishi Sunak’s turn. Would he clash on the economy? On immigration? On early prisoner release?
We swiftly got our answer as Mr Sunak, who we now know will be in the role until November, spent all six questions shying away from any sort of disagreement with Sir Keir, instead pressing the cross-party consensus on Ukraine.
Mr Sunak made more criticism of himself than the Labour leader, starting with a self-deprecating joke about the upcoming Olympic Games.
Don't miss...
Rishi Sunak has Commons in stitches with brutal joke just seconds into PMQs [LATEST]
Labour civil war erupts with Keir Starmer accused of 'macho virility test' [LATEST]
James Cleverly rules out Reform merger while sharing claim about Tories [LATEST]
Keir Starmer had an easy ride at PMQs (Image: House of Commons)
The Tory leader quipped: “I have no doubt that after training, focus and dedication they’ll bring back many gold medals”.
“Although, to be honest, I’m probably not the first person they want to hear advice from on how to win!”
Cue Labour MPs making mock sounds of ‘aw’ while Mr Sunak smiled bashfully.
No doubt today’s PMQs session gave an insight into how he plans on playing the role of Leader of the Opposition: Uncontroversial, collegiate, the sort of person Gails coffee shop customers can respect.
He seems to be laying the foundations of a very successful centrist dad podcasting career a la Rory Stewart and Alastair Campbell just in case the return to investment banking doesn’t work out.
Nigel Farage, looking on from the opposition backbenches, was no doubt loving the Commons love-in by the three main parties, all of which would merely prove to angry and disillusioned voters that they really are all in a cushty club.
Trending
SUBSCRIBE Invalid email
We use your sign-up to provide content in ways you've consented to and to improve our understanding of you. This may include adverts from us and 3rd parties based on our understanding. You can unsubscribe at any time. Read our Privacy Policy
Thankfully for Sir Keir, backbencher Kim Leadbeater was on hand to counter Ms Whittome’s sticky wicket on trans issues. She congratulated the great leader for “such a positive start to his premiership and on resetting the dial on politics as public service”.
It reminded those with good memories of a similar PMQs scene with Tony Blair, when he was asked whether he agreed “that the Budget was magnificent”.
Mr Blair replied: “On balance, I would agree. Some people may not like some old-fashioned sycophancy – but not me”.
DON'T MISS
Powered by
Rachel Reeves 'betrayed' voters by ditching the cap on social care costs, expert says
141 Comments
Southport stabbings: Keir Starmer heckled as furious local asks 'how many more children?'
1646 Comments
I know only one candidate can win the Red Wall back for the Tories - it's Robert Jenrick
52 Comments
Kemi Badenoch blasts leftie smears as she's accused of 'bullying' civil servants
179 Comments
Rachel Reeves admits taxes will RISE as Tory fury mounts over failure to defy unions
228 Comments
Rioting thugs have no respect for the grieving Southport families, Yvette Cooper blasts
797 Comments
Nigel Farage accused of being ‘Tommy Robinson in a suit' by murdered MP's furious husband
Comments
I'm a pensions expert - huge problem with Winter Fuel Payment cut means Labour will U-turn
1301 Comments
Incredible map shows how many new homes Angela Rayner wants to build where you live
98 Comments
Labour swiftly stabbed in the back by union after pandering to junior doctors' pay demands
143 Comments
Labour accused of 'shredding' housing targets in London despite urgent need
75 Comments
Lord Frost says only one Tory candidate is speaking honestly and can defeat Labour
44 Comments
UK firms addicted to cheap foreign labour - and British workers are sidelined
69 Comments
Nigel Farage's five-word response as he's called ‘Tommy Robinson in a suit' over Southport
293 Comments
Outrage as Labour make 'crazy move' in plot to bring UK closer to EU
1297 Comments
Angela Rayner's set to ditch big housebuilding rule and you're not going to like it
851 Comments
Andrew Neil slams Rachel Reeves and issues brutal two-word warning to Labour
253 Comments
Labour is ‘taking away money from pensioners on the breadline'
105 Comments
What is it like inside the Tory leadership campaign?
20 Comments
'I'm disgusted by Rachel Reeves' attack on pensioners - it makes life not worth living'
614 Comments
Rachel Reeves 'betrayed' voters by ditching the cap on social care costs, expert says
141 Comments
Southport stabbings: Keir Starmer heckled as furious local asks 'how many more children?'
1646 Comments
I know only one candidate can win the Red Wall back for the Tories - it's Robert Jenrick
52 Comments
Kemi Badenoch blasts leftie smears as she's accused of 'bullying' civil servants
179 Comments
Rachel Reeves admits taxes will RISE as Tory fury mounts over failure to defy unions
228 Comments
Rioting thugs have no respect for the grieving Southport families, Yvette Cooper blasts
797 Comments
Nigel Farage accused of being ‘Tommy Robinson in a suit' by murdered MP's furious husband
Comments
I'm a pensions expert - huge problem with Winter Fuel Payment cut means Labour will U-turn
1301 Comments
Incredible map shows how many new homes Angela Rayner wants to build where you live
98 Comments
Labour swiftly stabbed in the back by union after pandering to junior doctors' pay demands
143 Comments
Labour accused of 'shredding' housing targets in London despite urgent need
75 Comments
Lord Frost says only one Tory candidate is speaking honestly and can defeat Labour
44 Comments
UK firms addicted to cheap foreign labour - and British workers are sidelined
69 Comments
Nigel Farage's five-word response as he's called ‘Tommy Robinson in a suit' over Southport
293 Comments
Outrage as Labour make 'crazy move' in plot to bring UK closer to EU
1297 Comments
Angela Rayner's set to ditch big housebuilding rule and you're not going to like it
851 Comments
Andrew Neil slams Rachel Reeves and issues brutal two-word warning to Labour
253 Comments
Labour is ‘taking away money from pensioners on the breadline'
105 Comments
What is it like inside the Tory leadership campaign?
20 Comments
'I'm disgusted by Rachel Reeves' attack on pensioners - it makes life not worth living'
614 Comments
Rachel Reeves 'betrayed' voters by ditching the cap on social care costs, expert says
141 Comments
Southport stabbings: Keir Starmer heckled as furious local asks 'how many more children?'
1646 Comments
I know only one candidate can win the Red Wall back for the Tories - it's Robert Jenrick
52 Comments
Kemi Badenoch blasts leftie smears as she's accused of 'bullying' civil servants
179 Comments
Rachel Reeves admits taxes will RISE as Tory fury mounts over failure to defy unions
228 Comments
Rioting thugs have no respect for the grieving Southport families, Yvette Cooper blasts
797 Comments
Nigel Farage accused of being ‘Tommy Robinson in a suit' by murdered MP's furious husband
Comments
Only the SNP’s Stephen Flynn was on hand to put a greater spring in Sir Keir’s step. Rising from the opposition benches with his now derisory pack of 9 MPs, he thanked the Labour leader for “ending Tory rule”.
Even Tory MPs were able to score this open goal, heckling back: “And yours!”
Bring on the next Tory leader - we desperately need an end to this Cold War.
Related articles Labour confusion over two-child benefit limit as MPs prepare for mass rebellion Nigel Farage blasts 'Rejoiner parliament' as he demands ECHR referendum Rachel Reeves considers huge pension tax raid hitting millions of retirees Keir Starmer defeats two-child benefit cap rebellion - how did your MP vote? Keir Starmer ruthlessly suspends seven MPs over rebellion in Labour civil war