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The other morning I rolled over in bed and whispered to my wife the three words every woman longs to hear: “Viking River Cruises.”
Okay, maybe not every woman. And I don’t think this particular one — let’s call her “Ruth” — really wants to spend the rest of her life going from cruise ship to cruise ship, never touching dry land.
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And yet, I see the appeal. Or maybe that’s just the PBS talking. I’ve seen so many of those Viking River Cruises ads that they’ve probably done to my brain what MyPillow ads do to the brains of Fox News viewers.
This is all a long, lazy, riverine way of getting to the topic at hand: What do people do when they retire? I’m taking The Washington Post’s buyout and have to figure out what to do with myself now. Hundreds of readers offered suggestions, so many, in fact, that I haven’t yet responded to everyone who wrote in. (Thank you, all.)
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The main theme that emerged was that — if you can afford it — retirement is great. Even if you came from a high-status job you loved, you will quickly wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
“When careers end there is simply more time to pursue those passions one loves to pursue,” wrote Jim Krowka of Dexter, Ore. “And the key word to this for me is ‘passion.’ If one has passion for doing anything it can maintain vitality and help strengthen resilience to change. Those who don’t have a passion outside of work or family seem to be the most affected when work or family ends.”
For some, exercising that passion means indulging an existing hobby or exploring a new one. I heard from people who finally took up singing, painting, writing, ukulele-playing, woodworking … (Not all at once.)
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Many people signed up for classes at a local community college or through the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute.
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James Conaghan of Midlothian, Va., suggested learning a new language. “That will sop up a lot of time,” he wrote. “I’m trying Irish, a difficult task. If I live to be 150, I might be semi-fluent. ádh mór.”
James said that means “Good luck.” I didn’t check, and I hope it isn’t actually something rude.
Some readers said they took other jobs, but in a totally different field. They drove school buses or became substitute teachers. I heard from a former Federal Aviation Administration attorney who at age 61 became a flight attendant.
Paul Conte of Eugene, Ore., was 62 when he started his slow glide path to full retirement. Wrote Paul: “The most important pieces of advice I can give are: Stay healthy (exercise, eat right) and spend time with nature (whether in a backyard garden or trekking in Nepal). All the rest will fall into place.”
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Steve Migdal of Annapolis, Md., wrote: “I have two words for you to think about in retirement: volunteer and exercise. Volunteering gives one a purpose in life, namely to help others. Exercise keeps the body and those endorphins alive and kicking.”
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Many readers said they’ve thrown themselves into volunteering: at their church, at an animal shelter, at a library teaching English to immigrants.
Amy Sheldon of Rockville, Md., said that once she was retired, she was retired: “No part-time jobs, no hobbies that turned into work, and absolutely no volunteer work that was actually real work, but with no pay. I was done with deadlines and bosses hanging over my shoulder.”
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Susan Strange of Potomac, Md., offered a specific suggestion: “Please gradually get rid of ‘stuff’ in your house. This will be a giant gift to your daughters.”
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Theresa Metzger of Camano Island, Wash., was a “change management” consultant before switching careers herself. As with any big change, many people cast into retirement cycle through a cascade of emotions: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, experimenting, acceptance, thriving.
“It’s very natural to feel apprehensive at this point in your life,” Theresa wrote. “The trickiest part of this change curve you are on is the transition from ‘depression’ to ‘experimenting.’”
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Sadness and depression, she said, are inevitable — and okay.
“Take the time you need here to go for walks, declutter, catch up with family and friends, travel, paint your house — whatever is meaningful — to allow your mind and your body to start new rhythms,” she wrote. “Once this starts feeling more boring than anything else, you’re ready to embark on the ‘start of the new’!”
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That’s the main theme that emerged from the hundreds of readers who wrote in: Don’t jump into anything too quickly after retiring — even a Viking cruise ship.
Helping Hand
The Washington Post Helping Hand is our annual fundraising drive for three worthy charities working to end homelessness and hunger in Washington: Bread for the City, Friendship Place and Miriam’s Kitchen. To donate, visit posthelpinghand.com.
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