Wong Chung Heong, para-counsellor and coordinator of Gem Helpline

       Being a para-counsellor (phone helper) for 15 years has been an enlightening experience for me.

       By listening to the callers talk about their problems and giving them emotional support, I know that I play an important role to be by their side as an active listener.

       Most of the callers just want a listening ear. By talking about their problems, they understand their situation better.

       These sessions are usually a form of self-discovery as they are made more aware of their situation by venting it out and come up with their own solutions.

       While my role is to be their shoulder to cry on, these sessions have also been good for my own personal development.

       In 1992, Buddhist Gem Fellowship (BGF) volunteers Chee Wei Yong, HK Loi and Keek Seng Bee, who are all trained professionals, started the helpline service.

       It was initially known as the BGF Counselling Unit (BGFCU), but we changed the name last year so that we could reach out to a wider community.

       Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, we are now taking calls off-site as safety is our first priority.

       Nowadays, more virtual public talks are being carried out to educate the community on how to cope with the pressures of modern living, de-stigmatising counselling and giving accurate information about where to get help.

       I took part in the programme in 2006 to hone my interpersonal and problem-solving skills.

       Then, I enrolled in a counselling course and underwent rigorous training.

       We were equipped with basic counselling knowledge and skills that benefit us in our day-to-day communication and interpretation skills. It also enhanced our sense of empathy for others.

       Among the topics were conflict resolution, the mental and emotional impact of stress, effective listening and role-playing.

       It took a year and a half for me to become a full-fledged para- counsellor, and I was assessed before being allowed to take calls.

       The courses have since undergone many revamps and in 2015, a new training structure based on Karl Roger’s Person-Centred Therapy was adopted as the foundation of our training.

       The training for current para-counsellor volunteers also places emphasis on psychological first aid and suicide prevention to ensure that every para-counsellor is equipped to handle crisis cases.

       My friend, Gem Helpline deputy coordinator Yeo Phaik Sim, also joined the counselling courses a few years ago to improve her communication skills, especially with her teenage children.

       We take on months of rigorous training that inculcate us to be non-judgemental and have compassion while on the phone.

       Together, we take on our shifts and provide emotional support to the person-in-need (PIN), which is what we call our callers.

       The helpline also provides information and referral services so that the PIN can access the best resources for their problems.

       For example, if I receive a call from a PIN who tells me about experiencing domestic abuse, I will listen and provide emotional support.

       If I feel the need to refer the caller to a trained and registered counsellor or an NGO specialising in abuse cases, I will do so.

       However, there are certain limitations as we do not accept PINs aged 18 and below and will refer to a professional in such cases.

       In the early days of BGFCU, we only had a few volunteers manning the helplines. Now, we have 32 para-counsellors serving the community five days a week, including on public holidays.

       Clientele woes have also changed with the times due to pressures from modern living such as Internet game addiction, cyberbullying or caregivers overwhelmed by the responsibility of looking after aged parents.In the past two years, there have been more cases of career and financial problems that may be associated with a relationship issue or domestic violence.

       The pandemic has also contributed to increased stress as many callers have talked about losing their jobs and other sources of income.

       Many people think counselling provides immediate solutions, but we actually act as an emotional support pillar and listen without prejudice.

       I usually start the conversation by listening to their problems and as they speak, they will explore their issues and possible solutions themselves with some support.

       Our mission is to help them come up with solutions independently instead of giving it to them directly.Gem Helpline can be reached at 011-2528 9610 and 011-5994 4384 on weekdays from 2pm to 4pm and 7.30pm to 9.30pm, including on public holidays.