Look, it’s no use sending me more name suggestions for Washington’s NFL football team. That boat has sailed. All we can do now is make the best of a meh situation.
As I recounted in this space last week, one of the main drawbacks of the Commanders is the lack of an easy nickname. It’s hard to shorten the name, something that’s especially critical for newspaper headline writers. Readers came up with some ideas. Many involved subtracting from those 10 letters.
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Jack Weaver of Falls Church noted that English-speaking navies around the world have for years abbreviated the rank of Commander as “Cmdr.” Wrote Jack: “Might that work? Frankly, I don’t care what they call themselves; I just wish they would start winning more often!”
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Well, that would work in a headline, but it’s not so easy to say.
John K. Harms of Dumfries sliced off another letter. Wrote John: “As far as a good abbreviation, if it does not have to be a word you can pronounce, ‘CDR’ is a frequent abbreviation for both the rank and the position. ‘Pats Beat CDR’s’ fits nicely in a headline (and seems inevitable).”
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From Raymond Albright of Chevy Chase, Md., came the “Washington CDs.” Wrote Raymond: “Writers could describe them as the CDs from DC!”
Well, that does have a certain palindromic quality.
“You spent a lot of time bemoaning the inability of writers to shorten the name ‘Commanders,’ ” wrote Jeffrey Noone of Dunn Loring. “But anyone who served in the military will tell you that the abbreviation for Commanding Officer is ‘CO.’ You can perhaps have the headline: ‘COs pull one out in OT.’
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“Well, okay, maybe not for this WFT.”
Jo Ann York of Germantown stripped the name to its very essence. “The only way they are going to have a nickname that will work is to do what the Orioles did,” she wrote. “This team will have to be the ‘Cs,’ which is probably appropriate, since that’s the highest grade their performances ever seem to earn.”
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McLean’s Bob Abrams suggests that the team take a tip from the ornithological world, which employs something called the ringing code. When a band is placed on a bird’s leg, a four-letter code is created from the bird’s name.
Wrote Bob: “Red-eyed vireo becomes REVI. Snowy owl becomes, appropriately, SNOW. So, the Washington Commanders becomes, also appropriately, WACO. You have the power, so you can add the K.”
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In other words: “WACKOs.”
Don Greenwood of Oakton went in a completely different direction. “If you’re in a funk, agonizing over a new nickname for the Washington Commanders (meh!), what about ‘The Brass’? Or, if Hades freezes over and the team is suddenly and consistently winning Division titles and going to the playoffs, how about then calling them the ‘Top Brass’?”
I kind of like the Brass. Could it catch on?
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Silver Spring’s Frank Shaw suggests the ‘Mandos.’ It is, he wrote, short for “Commanders” and also the nickname of the Mandalorian, the title character in the “Star Wars” show on Disney Plus.
Mandalorians, Frank wrote, are members of “a powerful, inscrutable cult that never take their helmets off! And the football (or Daniel Snyder?) is Baby Yoda!”
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Bob Patrick of Fairfax Station said his wife, Valerie, is partial to 'the Ders.’ Wrote Bob: “We can take our empty toilet paper and paper towel rolls to the games and cheer the team on with our ‘Der Ders.’ ”
Hugo Keesing of Columbia, Md., was among readers who pointed out that in last week’s column, I misattributed the quote about an army not retreating, but “advancing in another direction.” I wrote that it was Gen. Douglas MacArthur. MacArthur had plenty of memorable quotes — “I shall return!” when he left the Philippines during World War II being the pithiest — but not that one.
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Wrote Hugo: “Every current and former Marine will know that it was Gen. Oliver P. Smith who spoke words to that effect as U.S. forces in Korea left the Chosin Reservoir and headed for the coast.”
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Finally, a few readers think the new name rings a bell. For John Fay of Wheaton, Commander “brings back an old memory of a cigarette jingle from long ago, which includes, ‘Have a Commander, welcome aboard.’ I think it was a Philip Morris product.”
It was, indeed.
Silver Spring’s Steve Kerst wrote: “My grandmother’s old Studebaker Commander had the name first … probably got better mileage on the road.”
And I bet your grandmother let qualified mechanics work on the engine.